PART 4: FACING THE CRITICS OF ALTERNATIVE CANCER TREATMENT

I NEVER want my blog to be about negativity towards conventional cancer treatment, but I ALWAYS want people to be aware of the option for and the efficacy of alternative cancer treatment.

I had always known that alternative cancer treatment was looked at as “shady”, “unproven,” or “snake oil,” BUT I had never experienced a mine field of skepticism like I did earlier this year when I went on a popular cancer support forum to offer my support and share my experience by sharing my newly created Green Drink Diaries blog. Immediately after leaving my post, several pages of angry replies followed, resulting in my post being banned from the support forum by the moderator. Eventually the entire thread was deleted. Do you want to know what I posted to get this response from people? Read on for the full conversation…

Referring to the battle between conventional and alternative medicine, famous television host and physician, Dr. Mehmet Oz said, “There’s a civil war right now in American medicine. And that civil war is only going to be addressed  if we can get the two sides talking to each other.”

When going through my holistic cancer treatment some people had negative, uninformed, and presumptuous words to say to my husband and me about our decision to forgo chemotherapy and radiation.

My goal with this post is to help people seeking out alternative cancer therapies react more effectively to criticism. Responding to well-meaning (and sometimes not so well-meaning) friends and family members can be very challenging and emotionally taxing.

6 Things to Remember When Responding to Alternative/ Holistic Cancer Criticism:

1. Know Your Audience. If on a support forum or with a group of survivors or people fighting their cancer traditionally, speak mindfully. A compassionate and understanding voice always gets you further in any audience. Also- know the territory. Look at other posts on alternative cancer topics and see how members reacted. If you’re not up for the fight, don’t post questions or advice there.

2. Know Your Facts. Before you even tell anyone your plan to attack your cancer with alternative methods, know as much as you can about the characteristics of cancer, and even more about your specific type of cancer – how it behaves (aggressive, slower moving, etc.) and how the staging works. If you seem ignorant to a critic, they are quick to dismiss your methods, making it even harder to have a meaningful conversation with them.

3. Don’t Take What They Say Personally. You don’t know what this person has been through, or what experiences they have had. They may have been affected by cancer in a horrible way, some even losing loved ones. They usually aren’t attacking YOU, but more so defending their choice in cancer treatment. Example: If a parent has lost their son after using traditional treatment, for them to even consider that there could have been another option is next to emotionally impossible. The same would apply for a parent who chose traditional treatment and their child is currently in remission.

4. No Back-and-Forth Debating. Address the foundational issue rather than specific points. Example: A critic might say, “I saw this lady, Sally Smith on Oprah who DIED from alternative treatments, so I know that they don’t work and can’t be trusted!” Rather than ask a bunch of questions about Sally Smith, you might respond, “Oh, I saw that too. You know there are hundreds of alternative treatments that can be used separately or in conjunction and you have to choose the ones you know are right for you based on sound research and [for me] much prayer. They aren’t all created equal. I’m not sure what that lady did, but many people turn to alternative treatments for their last hope after they have undergone conventional treatment for their 2nd or 3rd relapse. Their immune system is heavily damaged by that point making healing holistically difficult. It’s also important to remember that over 500,000 people die using conventional treatment every year so that’s not really a fair argument.”

5. Don’t Set Out to Change People’s Minds. Just focus on the facts! This is parallel with the religion debate. Live your life as an example of your faith, don’t shove religion down someone else’s throat. My husband has a quote he uses to remind himself of this – “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.”

6. Know That Other People’s Opinions Don’t Change Your Reality. This one was difficult for me because the comments made on the forum thread impacted my belief in how I felt about my remission. Once I came out of the fog of doubt that I allowed myself to get into, I realized, “Wait a second! I am still thriving and cancer free! None of their comments have changed that I am thriving in my choice and holistic treatment worked for me.”

That said… 

This was my original post from the popular cancer forum earlier this year:

Hi Everyone,

I wanted to share this with you guys since I am also a Hodgkin’s survivor but through holistic methods. I’ve gotten bolder about sharing my story. I didn’t do chemo or radiation and will now be in clinical remission 2 years in May. I started a blog to document my journey. It is www.anticancermom.com. I hop many of you will find it helpful and always feel free to ask any questions.

Cortney

www.anticancermom.com

You will see in the PDF file how my husband (seen as member name “kevinc”) and I (seen as member name “Cortney”) handled the criticism. Kevin’s defense of me began shortly after I was banned from the forum.  At the time, he did much better handling it than I did, because having read the comments, I was an emotional wreck, and of no help at all. I had never experienced such animosity towards such a sincere gesture. Also seen in the PDF file, my original link was edited out by the site’s admin within hours of my post. I didn’t realize that linking to a personal blog would be received so negatively. Looking back, I want to let you know that I am now aware of my mistakes in my post and in my tact. It may have seemed harmless to me: I was posting on a cancer support site read by tens of thousands of cancer patients who were looking for support from people going through the same thing they were. But they didn’t take it that way.

You see, I WASN’T going through the same things they were. I wasn’t aware of the physical and emotional pain and sickness that they were going through in trying to fight their cancer with chemotherapy and radiation. Some of them had been battling the disease for years with multiple recurrences and bone marrow transplants. They were experiencing side-effects I didn’t even know existed until I read some of their responses. To post what I did, though I told the truth, was a slap in the face for them. In their eyes, there I came, waltzing in to plug  my new website on my first post to their online “family.” I was incredibly naive in my belief that my visit would be welcomed, let alone appreciated.

Note: The thread no longer exists online because the moderator deleted it. Out of respect for the forum and its members, all identifiable forum data has been blurred and member names have been changed for anonymity.

Here are some samples of the other members’ responses to my original post and what they skimmed from my blog. These are some of the nicer comments:

“If green milkshakes and free-range meat cured Hodgkin’s, I promise Cortney, my board-certified Hematologist, who cares about his patients so much it breaks his heart….he would tell me to skip the chemo and drink the green milkshakes. But that’s not what he says. He says, here’s the ABVD. It’s going to suck. But you will get the chance to grow old because of it.

Again, Cortney, I am happy for you. You apparently beat Hodgkin’s, and that is amazing. But I can assure you that the vast majority of people that beat Hodgkin’s will need chemotherapy, and to say otherwise is irresponsible and, yes, dangerous.”

“I don’t buy it. You would have been prescribed ABVD, and I’ve never heard of HcG to monitor Hodgkin’s. 

Bill [name changed for anonymity] said everything way nicer than I would have, so I’ll leave it at that.”

“Green milkshakes do not cure Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. There is not a single scientific study even suggesting this.

Several things jump out about this person’s story, assuming it is true.

I would question whether the diagnosis and pathology were correct. NLP Hodgkin’s is not characterized by the Reed-Sternberg cells the classical forms have. As we all know, pathology can be difficult with lymphomas and this person was diagnosed with a rare kind of Hodgkin’s. It is possible the pathology was simply interpreted wrong and this person did not actually have cancer. There have certainly been occasional, rare misdiagnoses before. 

Spontaneous remissions of cancer (miracles of sort) have occasionally been reported, but they are not related to drinking green milkshakes. This may be what happened here if this person did have cancer.

I wish the OP well, but I urge anyone reading this to consider the entire lack of ANY scientific evidence backing up this person’s claims. There is also simply no way to verify this person’s story.”

“Cortney,

This is absolutely NOT TRUE!!! I have been a nurse for 31 years and have NEVER seen anyone diagnosed with HL “cured” without chemo/radiation.”

“Courtney, I hope that you aren’t responsible for leading anyone with the Hodge astray.

PLEASE if you are reading this thread – don’t listen to the OP. 

ABVD and radiation saved my son’s life! His hematologist, who happens to be a collegue of Mike’s hematologist, would never have asked him to go through both if a green milkshake could have done the same.

Sorry if we hurt your feelings Courtney – but I don’t think we are interested in snake oil.”

“So the real question at hand is: 

Is it wrong for me to wish bad things upon you when, in the back of my mind, I know it will prevent you from propagating your message which has the potential of killing others?”

As you can see, the civil war between allopathic and holistic medicine, as mentioned by Dr. Oz, is a reality that cannot be ignored. But hopefully with mutual understanding and respect of personal choice, we can all come to achieve the one goal we stand absolutely united in – defeating cancer for good!

Lastly, it’s important to know that not everyone is a critic.  Later this week, I will share how this same kind of post on a different forum of cancer fighters was met with the exact opposite results. Stay tuned!

The post A Day in the Life: Facing the Critics of Alternative Cancer Treatment appeared first on Anti-Cancer Mom.