I don’t know about any of you, but I just don’t seem to have enough time for the PEOPLE I Love.

That means friends and potential friendships get put on the back burner- upstaged by work, children, and maintaining a holistic, cancer-fighting lifestyle. I have struggled with forming close friendships since graduating from the convenience of college fellowship when I lived with my closest friends.

This year is different though.

As far as sustaining friendships, should I invest the small amount of free time I have into only a few people and go deeper? OR, should I have more surface-level friendships with a bunch of people? Is it true that I am too busy for friendships that aren’t convenient? Like my friends that live across town- they are hard to get to with our beastly Atlanta traffic. I already feel too spread-thin with my husband, daughter, and family. And what about my friends in a different life-stage than me? Does it bother them that my daughter has to come along in whatever we do?

A side note.

And what about thank-you notes? I have been sweating these babies since I graduated from high school and had my mom breathing down my neck about making sure I write everyone a thank-you (which of course she should have!) I think being THANKFUL is so incredibly important, but is there really a designated format of expressing your gratitude?

Nothing so small has stressed me out as badly as the THANK-YOU NOTE. Until I have written one to everyone who has graciously given something to me or my family, I drown in the guilt of not having thanked them with a note yet. But NOT THIS YEAR. I will delete the mental image of my friends and family scowling at their empty mailbox as days go by without a thank-you note from me. I will call…or maybe even email. but I will not feel guilty anymore!

This relational commitment is tough for me, so I’m going to take it easy on myself and try not to over-process this. I think I will take a deep breath on this one and take it one moment, one phone call, one thank-you note at a time.

My Relational Commitment for 2012:

1. I will attempt to from closer friendships with 2 or 3 friends this year. I want to do ONE activity with a friend each week. Maybe more? But at least one.

2. I will CALL 1-2 friends each week to invest in them and let them know I value them.

3. I will forgive myself for not writing a thank-you note. I will reasonably try to write a paper thank you-note, but I refuse to follow “thank-you note protocol” (sorry Emily Post) and if too overwhelmed at that moment, I will enthusiastically call or email instead. 

Ideas for Investing in Someone Else:

1. Ask someone you’ve never hung out with outside of work to meet up for a run, for a class you’ve been wanting to take, or for something else fun.

2. Commit to reading a book with a friend and have “book club” meetings in person or over the phone.

3. Join a softball, kickball, or other athletics league such as Alta Tennis.

4. Learn how to communicate better and meet people at your local ToastMasters.

5. Join a small group bible study at your church.

6. Find a Meet-Up group.

7. Use your Facebook account to actually meet up with someone. Message a friend and plan a get-together.

8. Introduce yourself to your neighbors. We have met almost all of our neighbors in our apartments by simply saying. “Hey! I haven’t had a chance to say hi. I’m Cortney…”

9. Start your own WordPress blog and reach out to others.

10. Volunteer at your local homeless or women’s shelter. Volunteer to tutor at-risk kids. If in the Atlanta area, my favorites are the LaAmistad program and Atlanta Union Mission.

11. Instead of telling a hurting friend, “Let me know if I can do anything” JUST DO SOMETHING! Bring them a $10 gift card to a food place nearby, bring them dinner, bring music and some hot tea to make them feel better. Bring HOPE because I guarantee you THEY WILL NOT CALL YOU WHEN THEY NEED SOMETHING! (:

12. Pick up your phone when a friend calls. I am guilty of sending friends to voicemail because I am in the middle of 4 different things and often forget to call them back. Picking the phone up to simply say, “Hey! Things are nuts here right now. I’ll call you back and if I don’t, call me back and yell at me!” I’ll wait for someone to test me on this one. (:

13. Call your grandparents! My dad’s mother is my only living grandparent. I need to call her much more than I do!

Share your ideas and Relational Commitments in our Comments section below!

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