Does anyone else feel that with each and every daily choice, they are in a flirtatious tug-of-war game with the Big C?

When anyone chooses to heal from cancer naturally, you know you have to stick to the lifestyle and diet you healed from for as long as possible, but at what point can you lay off a bit?

This is what I mean:

Yesterday I ate the Budwig mixture, juiced 32 oz of vegetable juice, took all of my supplements, and had a banana, blueberry, broccoli sprout, avocado, coconut water smoothie for a snack. For lunch I had a vegan veggie burger with steamed vegetables. For dinner I had spaghetti squash and lentil spaghetti. All organic.

Then there’s the other stuff I ate, like the massive amount of organic corn chips and peach salsa I snacked on while feeding my 10 month old daughter lunch. And the coconut sugar-sweetened, whole wheat chocolate chip cookie cake I made for my husband and daughter to eat to bring a little joy to this ice storm Atlanta is currently experiencing. I ended up eating a piece on top of eating a good amount of dough in the prepping process.

Sugar. Butter. Wheat. Not at all anti-cancer (even if it WAS all organic…do you HEAR me trying to justify this!?)

And everyday pretty much has a variation of this same behavior, with the exception of dessert…which is much less frequent. But I did have ice cream twice this month…like a cup. Maybe two? Eeek.

I do have a sense of peace, knowing that by choosing to treat my cancer naturally, I haven’t compromised my immune system, but there is always that question: Is what I’m doing ENOUGH to keep it away? How often can I have dessert? Once a month? Once a year? Never?

Then lets add in sleepless nights with one child peeing the bed and the other waking up to nurse and the lack of exercise, along with my terrible nail biting habit, the MSG in the Chick-Fil-A salad I actually ate the other day with no other options….and <hyperventilating>……….

BREATHE. EXHALE 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1….

I am healthy, I am strong, I am healed. My Heavenly father has this in His hands.

So where do I go from here? I remember 5 1/2 years ago, being just few months into my healing protocol and wondering “How much longer do I have to do this for!?” Eating to heal from cancer can be incredibly lonely and isolating. But we must stay the course, and eventually it becomes one that you want to follow and CRAVE the foods that nourish and heal our bodies.

You end up teaching others and being a light to the people you come in contact with over a meal.

I follow a few health gurus on Facebook who evoke two opposite emotions out of me. The first is anger. I get angry at their healthy-ness. I get angry that I can’t eat as well as they do and do yoga on the beach in my hours of spare time. I get angry that they don’t have children and it’s so easy for them to juice all day, eat chia and hemp salad with homemade dressing, and grow their own sprouts.

The other is healthy conviction. They keep me motivated and learning. Driven. They teach me new things because I am realizing quickly that something new is always trending in the natural health world.

And I’m sure they eat organic cookie dough too, they just don’t write about it. (:

***UPDATE: Just wanted to clarify that I RARELY bake in my house. If you make it, you WILL eat it. The last time I baked something unhealthy was for my oldest daughter’s birthday in November (and that was a whole wheat organic birthday cake with beet-colored homemade icing…but yes, to someone with current cancer- that is too much sugar and should be avoided.)

I find that eating anything that is NOT cancer-fighting often opens up a door to temptation that is hard to reverse. Once you start eating sugary things again, you will continue to eat more and more sugary things. The same goes for snacky things. What your weakness was before you began your natural healing protocol will become your weakness again if you introduce it back into your diet. We all must be careful with this, including myself. (:

The post Flirting With Cancer: (When Can I Eat Normal Again???) appeared first on Anti-Cancer Mom.